My last post was a couple months ago and I felt that I couldn't feel any worse. Well I was wrong. I feel so much worse. I'm just wishing I could go back in time to various points in the last five years and keep some certain events from occurring. The specific moments are as follows. Late 2009/early 2010 when I starting talking to someone who broke my heart. September 2010 when I talked to someone again who did the same. Same reason in June of 2012. And again a few times in 2013. With Valentine's Day coming up, I'm increasingly depressed about remaining single. I know it is pathetic that I'm always complaining about it, but I don't know how to change anything. Unfortunately I still associate with a few of these people who broke my heart and I realize I'm doing what I can to drive them away. However I know that if I do, I'll feel even worse, though I don't know what to do anymore. And to top all that off, I have a lot of back bills due to the fact that I still can't find any job and have tried to get on SSI, but that isn't going anywhere at all. I almost wish that something would just happen to me and that would be the end of it. I'm just so unsure about anything anymore.